


The Man They Wish They Were

by bisexualamy



Series: Trans!Steve Fics [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gen, Trans Male Character, Trans Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-19
Updated: 2016-05-19
Packaged: 2018-06-09 08:20:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6898246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bisexualamy/pseuds/bisexualamy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Have you always been a man, Mr. Rogers?”</p><p>“Yes,” Steve said forcefully.</p><p>“That’s not what I’m seeing,” the doctor said.</p><p>“All of this,” Steve said, gesturing to his own body, “doesn’t change the fact that I’m a man.  Have been since I was young, always.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Man They Wish They Were

**Author's Note:**

> My first time writing Trans!Steve Rogers, though I plan on doing some more. Might add additional chapters with additional oneshots, or they might be their own separate works.

Sneaking into an army recruiting station probably wasn’t the best idea.  Sneaking into an army recruiting station after already being rejected four times was most likely rash.  But getting as far as the physical and still intending to explain away the sickly body, the list of medical conditions longer than the average resumé, the fact that he wasn’t even supposed to _be_ here, well, that was definitely stupid.  But no one ever accused Steve Rogers of carefully thinking through his plans.

As he sat on the examination table he looked down at his legs, skinny and weak enough that some of the guys out in the waiting room could snap them in half, and chuckled to himself.  They were _dangling,_ too short to even come close to the ground.  The room was frigid, and he saw the hair on his arms and legs stand up as he sat there on the coarse paper in nothing but his undershirt and boxer briefs.  Steve was just thinking that they ought to turn up the heat if they knew guys would be sitting around in their undergarments, when the doctor walked in.  As soon as he saw his patient, he smiled to himself.  Steve, interpreting this as a judgement of his ability to join the armed forces, jumped to his own defense.

“If you really think I have no chance, why not forget this whole formality and send me out now?” Steve asked.

The doctor shook his head, looking down at his clipboard.

“Mr. Rogers, is it?” he asked.  “You’re somewhat of a familiar face around here, aren’t you?”

Steve chose to exercise his right against self incrimination, and instead avoided the doctor’s gaze.

“Alright,” the doctor said, knowing he wasn’t going to get an answer, “let’s cut to it, then.  Take off your shirt, Mr. Rogers.”

Steve looked down at the hemline of his shirt, making a motion to grab it and pull the shirt off his body before stopping.  He went to say something when the doctor cut him off with, “I don’t have all day, Mr. Rogers.  Either take your shirt off, or I’ll be forced to deem you ineligible.”

Seeing no other option, Steve lifted the shirt over his head, and sat there as the doctor saw his chest, flattened a bit by a breast binder he’d spent weeks saving up for.  That, paired with the loose T-shirt he’d been wearing when he walked in, had been enough to get past the recruiters at the door, but this doctor had a keener eye.

“Have you always been a man, Mr. Rogers?”

“Yes,” Steve said forcefully.

“That’s not what I’m seeing,” the doctor said.

“All of this,” Steve said, gesturing to his own body, “doesn’t change the fact that I’m a man.  Have been since I was young, always.”

The doctor paused, looking over the man with a careful eye.  Perhaps his instincts had been correct the moment Steve walked into the recruiting station, that he’d finally found Mr. Stark the right guy for the job.

“How many times have you applied at one of these stations?” the doctor asked.  “And be honest.  At this point, I don’t see what reason you have not to be.”

“This would be my fifth,” Steve said.

“You want to join the armed forces that badly, son?”

“I want to help my country do what’s right that badly, sir,” Steve replied curtly.

The doctor nodded, making a note on his clipboard before saying, “what if I told you, Mr. Rogers, that I could not only get you into the armed forces and help us ‘do what’s right,’ but I could make you into a man that all those guys out there wish they looked like.”

“I’d tell you to stop talking and prove it, sir.”

***

None of them knew.  Not the press teams, not the staff and the showgirls, and later, not the Commandos, or even Peggy.  He wanted to tell her.  He wasn’t ashamed, he was just looking for the right moment.  When they weren’t in warzone.  When she didn’t have ten thousand things to do and even more things on her mind.  When they finally had their dance.  When, when, when.

The only one who knew was Bucky.  There would’ve been no avoiding that; he and Bucky were kids together.  Bucky was there when he shakily confessed that he wanted to grow up to be a man.  Bucky snuck Steve his clothes when they got to small, and went with his best friend the first time Steve cut his hair short.  Bucky saw Steve’s huge smile the first time Steve bound his chest.  And Bucky wouldn’t tell either.  He covered for Steve when the captain wouldn’t change in front of his commandos, joking that modesty was always a virtue Steve held dear.  Never questioning Steve’s decision to keep his transness quiet, Bucky held onto the secret until the end.

Even so, the doctor hadn’t lied.  Despite the secrets, Steve really was the man every other man wanted to be.  As long as they didn’t know the truth.

***

When Steve awoke in a hospital bed, the memories of crashing into the ocean still fresh in his memory, he sat up quickly and checked what he was wearing.  It had become a habit, making sure the doctors hadn’t stripped him when he’d been unconscious and made a surprising discovery.  His chest had never been large, and with the serum it almost looked like pecs now, but there was no hiding the remnants of his former body from a doctor’s trained eye.  And, most obviously, he couldn’t hide what was in his pants.

Seeing he was still clothed, he looked up just in time to see an army nurse walk in.  Or rather, a woman who wanted him to believe she was an army nurse.  After a moment of planning, he ran from the room and onto the street.  However, as he looked around, he was shocked by the height of the buildings, the electronics, the _power_ of what New York City had become, giving Nick Fury enough time to set the captain straight.

***

The world was different.  It was newer, it was bigger, and it was _open._  When he turned on the television, he could see men and men in happy relationships, something he could only dream of in his childhood days in Brooklyn.  The first time he saw a pride parade, with gay couples walking hand in hand, and trans people of all stripes marching proudly by the dozens, he couldn’t help but cry.  Once, when he went to deliver the commencement speech at a university, the student assigned to assist him asked him for his pronouns.

“Wha- what?” Steve had asked, shocked someone would even bother.

“Oh, sorry Captain Rogers,” the woman stammered.  “It’s just, that’s standard practice here when you meet someone new.  It’s a form of respect you see, and I just wanted to-”

“Don’t worry,” Steve said, cutting her off before smiling at the flustered student.  “I like it.  Keep up the good work...”

“Molly, my name is Molly.”

“And what are your pronouns, Molly?”

“She/her, Captain.”

“Steve, please,” Steve said.  “My pronouns are he/him, Molly.  Thank you for asking.”

***

“I want to do an interview,” Steve said suddenly, one day at breakfast in the Avengers tower.  He looked up at Tony, the only other person in the room, and said, “I want to do an interview, a big one.  Who do I call?”

“Why do you think that I’m your guy?” Tony asked.  When Steve gave him a look, Tony sighed and said, “what, do you have some big news?”

“Yes,” Steve said seriously.  “Something I’ve been hiding.  Something I want everyone to know.”

Tony, intrigued by any skeleton the righteous captain’s closet, said, “well, you could do an interview, or you could just hold a press conference.  It’ll be like ten interviews all at once.”

“Perfect,” Steve said.  “Can you make it happen?  I’d owe you one.”

Tony gave a smile before saying, “consider it done.”

A day later, a crowd was gathered in the lobby of the Avengers tower.  Press were gathered in a mob, trying to get as close as they could to the podium where, in moments, Captain America himself would address the public in rare press conference.  As Steve stood off to the side, safely out of view, he drew in a breath.  Despite his nerves, he knew this was right.  It was time to stop hiding.

As he walked out to the podium, he was blinded by flashing cameras.  Shouts came from the reporters, trying to be the first ones to get a quote from the famous American hero.  As Steve turned to face the crowd, the microphone gave a little feedback, and everyone in attendance quieted.

“Hello,” Steve began, barely keeping his voice from shaking.  “I’ll keep this brief.  There is something that no one, no one alive today that is, knows about me.  Something I feel is integral to my legacy as Captain America, because it’s integral to who I am as a person.  Today, I’ve decided to make it public.  I’m coming out of hiding.”

He paused, watching the crowd, poised with their microphones and bated breath, eager to hear what he had to say.

“I’m transgender,” Steve said confidently.  “I’ve known ever since I was young, that despite the doctor who delivered me saying I’m female, that I am male.  And, I’m hoping that in sharing this with the world, I can use my influence as Captain America to not only help ease the burden hurting the trans people of this country, but show them that who they are fine, just the way they are.”

He smiled as the flashes went off again, blinding his vision, before he took in another preparatory breath.

“So, any questions?”

**Author's Note:**

> 8/4/16: Thanks for the 100 kudos! It really means a lot to me that you guys liked this so much.


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